The guilty pleasure | The ultimatum | The decision
Genre: ANGST
Previously: “I think this might actually be the start of something real.” He whispered. I thought to my self before answering, “Me too.”
Six blissful months with Chanyeol have gone by since our first encounter and I never felt so free. When I’m with him, everything changes for the better. There are no parents breathing down my neck or pressure to get my career started.
With the money I saved from my paid internship at my uncle’s real estate firm, I was able to rent an apartment for myself just a few miles away from Chanyeol’s place. Of course, I still come back to my parent’s house once a month for family dinner with them, my brother, and his new wife.
But this last time, I was caught in a dilemma that I never saw coming. And it all started when my mom said, “Y/n, how are your classes coming along?” My mom asked. I looked up from my plate and smiled before answering, “Great. I got really high scores on my midterms.”
“Very good, princess.” My dad said. “And how are things at the practice, son?” He asked, turning to my brother.
“Really well. In fact, things are going well at home too.” He took his wife’s hand and smiled. “We’re expecting a new addition to the family.”
My parents gasped and my mom leaped out of her char to hug them both. My dad leaned to my brother to give him a congratulatory hug once he was freed from my mom’s embrace and we all raised a glass.
“To family.” My dad said before we all took a sip.
My mom’s attention was redirected to me and I knew what was coming, the same question she asks me every time I come over.
“So Y/n. are you seeing anyone special?”
My heart pounded and my voice wavered as I spoke, “Well, uh…”
“Oh! You know who is single? My coworker, Mary’s son! He’s adorable and comes from a very good family.” She said.
“Y/m/n, Don’t pry. My little girl doesn’t need to see anyone special just yet.” My dad said.
“It’s not that, daddy. I’m just not looking.” I said, trying not to give anything away. My brother looked at me with a confused glare. “Have you already found someone?” He asked.
I sat there in silence for a second, not confirming nor denying, but it was pretty obvious. Sweetheart! It’s great if you met someone.“ My mom said. "How long have you two been together?”
“It’s recent.” I lied.
“Well, we want to meet him. How about tomorrow night? I’ll hire a chef to prepare something. Oh, I can’t wait!” She said in excitement.
I barely touched my food after that. I felt both nervous and guilty. Chanyeol shouldn’t have to be swept up in my families high expectations. My parents would hire a tutor for me if I got a B on a test. Not to mention, my brother’s wife. The girl is a big-time environmental lawyer and spends half of her money on children’s hospitals and no-kill dog shelters. She’s basically Wonder Woman.
After dinner, stopped by my old room and looked around at all the things I left behind. When I moved out, it turned into my own storage locker. I sat down to look at all the old photos of myself growing up and some CDs I used to listen to.
“You were lying earlier.” I heard my brothers voice and nearly jumped out of my skin. I turned to see him leaning in the doorway and stood up.
“Lied about what?”
“Oh, please Y/n I didn’t minor in behavioral psychology for nothing. The shaky voice, not maintaining eye contact, vague details. You’ve had a boyfriend for a while now haven’t you?” He said.
“Yeah,” I admitted.
He came in and sat next to me on my bed. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner.?”
“Because… I know mom and dad would disapprove.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh. But I do!” I got up and paced to my closet. “I’m dating Park Chanyeol,” I said.
“I don’t know who that is.” My brother said after thinking for a moment. I sighed and pulled out my phone to show me a picture.
“Oh, yeah. They’re gonna be pissed. Is his hair red?” He asked studying the image on the screen.
“No, it’s blue now. He changed it a few days ago.”
“Okay, all that aside. If you really like this guy, you just need to be honest. Mom and dad respond well to the truth.” He assured me. “Is it serious with you two?”
“Yeah. We started dating six months ago during my whole ‘year off’ thing.”
“Well, firstly, kudos for holding out for that long, and second, tell them that.” He said referring to our parents. I sat back down and hunched over in defeat. He rubbed my back and I felt a little better.
“Just be honest. I mean, it’s shocking, and I definitely have a lot of questions myself, but it’ll be fine.” I sat back up and smiled at him. “You’re a good brother.”
“I try.” He said, wrapping his arm around him with a small squeeze. We both sat there until his questions couldn’t be held back. “How’d you meet him?”
“I- uh. Snuck out and went to a gig that he was playing at downtown.”
“He’s a musician?” He questioned. I nodded and he huffed in disbelief. “Yeah, they’re gonna be pissed for sure.”
“Oh, god!!!” I groaned, falling backward out of his grasp. I covered my face with my hands and heard my mom shout in the distance.
“Y/n! Come take some leftovers home. I want to make sure you’re eating right.” I sighed and got up to go back downstairs. My brother reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me in and said, “Remember: Be honest.” He looked at me to make sure I understood and I nodded. “Be honest,” I repeated.
I grabbed the leftovers and said goodbye to my mom and dad before leaving. When I got back to my apartment, I slumped onto the couch and my mind continued to race.
I heard the sound of keys in the lock and the door opened. I looked over the side of the couch and saw Chanyeol walking toward me.
“There’s my girl. I got some take out in case you’re hungry.” He put the bag on the coffee table in front of me and opened the Chinese takeout boxes. He moved my legs so he could sit down and looked at me closely.
“You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah.” I sighed to myself and answered again truthfully. “No.” I sat up and leaned on his shoulder.
“What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, pulling me into his arms.
“It’s my parents,” I told him. “I heavily implied that I was with someone and now they want to meet you. Tomorrow.”
He stayed silent for a while and spoke when he had his thoughts in order. “Okay. Then I’ll meet them tomorrow.” He said. I pulled away and looked him in the eye.
“You’re sure about this?” I asked.
“Yeah. You and I have been together for a while and there’s no need to hide anymore.” I smiled weakly and fell back into his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.” His lips pressed against the top of my head and I hugged him back. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Now. Let’s eat.” He picked up a takeout box and handed me a fork.
“I’m not very hungry,” I said.
“At least have a fortune cookie.” He took the box and exchanged it with the cookie. I cracked it open and read the fortune while I ate.
All things are difficult before they’re easy
I laughed lightly and placed the paper on the table. Off all the fortune cookies in that restaurant, Chanyeol was given that one.
I turned on the TV and laid down while he ate his dinner. I closed my eyes and, after a while, felt my boyfriend’s strong arms lift me off the couch. He walked us to my bedroom and set me down on my usual side of the bed. I summoned the strength to take off my bra and pants before relaxing back onto the bed.
Chanyeol changed into a pair of sweatpants he left at my place before and climbed in with me. I cuddled into his side and he played with my hair until I fell asleep.
The next morning a rush of anxiety came back, ruining my perfectly pleasant dream and I clutched onto Chanyeol, waking him from his sleep. “Baby? Y/n? What is it?” He shook my shoulder gently and I woke up.
“Hmm?” I said in a sleepy haze.
“I think you had a nightmare. You gripped onto me and started muttering.” His handed stroked my arm and I stretched out. “Oh. Sorry.”
“It’s alright. We need to get up anyway.” He hopped out of bed and went to the bathroom. “Should I redye my hair?”
“I like the blue.” I came up behind him and kissed his shoulder. “You’re like my own little carebear,” I said teasingly. He turned around and pinched my butt playfully. I cupped his cheeks, squishing them and he picked me up, bring me back into the bedroom and dropping me on the bed. I stood up on the mattress and swung a pillow at his shoulder.
“Oooohhh~ Feisty huh?” He took the other one and swatted me right back. I went into a fit of giggles and Chanyeol lunged at me, lifting me over his shoulder and pulling me down with him onto my bed. I kissed his cheek, holding him tight.
“I love you, Chanyeol.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he smiled at me. “I love you too. Always will.” He said kissing my lips.
“But I’m still gonna color my hair.” He said. He got up and got dressed for the day.
He went to the store to get his normal brand of hair color and we went to his place to redye it. Within a few hours, he transitioned from light blue to dark brown. He added a bit of product to push back his bangs and he changed into a button down top and nice jeans.
When we arrived at my parent’s house, I knocked on the door and my mom answered within seconds. The door swung open and she pulled me in for a hug. When she broke away, she looked Chanyeol up and down before extending her hand for him to shake.
“You must be Y/n’s boyfriend.” She said politely.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m Chanyeol.” We stepped inside and my mom’s eyes continued to san Chanyeol’s appearance, almost as if she was reading a complex book.
My dad came from around the corner and I gave him a hug. “Hi, daddy! This is my boyfriend, Chanyeol.” The two shook hands and exchanged formalities.
“Hey, sis. Long time no see.” My brother came to greet us and I smiled at him. “You must be Chanyeol.”
I looked at my brother with wide eyes and he realized he said the wrong thing.
“You know his name already?” My mom asked.
“Uh…” My brother tried to think of an excuse but I spoke for him. “I told him last night, after dinner”
“Oh. Well, Tonight’s dinner is almost ready. Y/n, do you want to show our guest to the living room?”
I nodded and lead Chanyeol to the other room. My brother joined us and I made sure we were out of view before whispering, “Where’s your wife?”
“She’s feeling a little sick so she won’t make it, but you’re still going to tell them everything right?”
“What are you whispering about?” Chanyeol asked. I peeked around the corner and spoke at a normal volume. “He wants us to come clean about how we met and everything, but that’s not gonna happen,” I said toward my brother.
“Why not?” Chanyeol shrugged. I looked at him and he took my hands. “He’s right, Y/n. The only way to get through this is to just be up front.” He said. I nodded at him and he gave my hands an extra squeeze.
My parents walked into the room to tell us dinner was ready and we all went into the dining room.
“So, Chanyeol, I see you have a tattoo.” My mom pointed at his hand and he nodded.
“Oh, yes. ‘Loey’ is the last four letters in my name and it’s also the name I go by when I’m producing.”
“Producing?” My dad asked with a steal-like expression.
“Producing music. I’m in an alternative rock band.” He explained. I watched the looks on my parent’s faces and my heart started to sink when I saw they were less than amused.
“A band… Interesting.”
“Yes, that’s actually how we met. I heard one of his songs on Spotify. They have had a lot of success and I went to one of their performances six months ago, and now, here we are.” I smiled at him during our story and he smiled back, giving me a moment of bliss in all this.
“Six months? Wow. So you two have a bit of history then.” My mom commented.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
The tension could be cut with a knife. My nerves melted into annoyance and disappointment. It was clear that my parents had something to say, but nothing was said.
“I didn’t think you were interested in… Rock music, Y/n.” My dad said.
“I am. I discovered it during my year off and I’ve enjoyed it ever since.”
My mom and dad gave each other a look and I was fed up. “ What is it?” I asked them.
“Nothing. Just perhaps a full year off was a bit of a stretch.” My dad said.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“No reason.” My mom said to him. I scoffed and leaned back in my chair. “Yes, there is.”
“Y/n, we can discuss it later.” She said.
“Why? What is so wrong with me taking a year off and discovering a new genre of music?” Chanyeol’s hand rested on my leg to calm me down, but I was too far gone.
“Y/n. Your mother said we will discuss it later.” My dad glared at me and I shook my head in disbelief.
“I don’t understand why I have to wait. If there is something to say just tell me.” I said in a calm tone.
My dad sat back and sighed. “Fine. I’m not sure what you’re doing with this boy Y/n.”
“Y/f/n!” My mom said sternly.
“No. You’ve been surrounded by perfectly eligible young men who have their whole life mapped out and yet you go out and find some inked-up boy from some rock band. What is that?” His words struck me like bricks. I could feel the tears build up in my eyes, yet I wasn’t sad. I was angry.
“That’s what you think? You think my loving someone is just an impulse?”
“Love?” My mom said. “Y/n be serious.”
“She is serious.” Chanyeol finally spoke and I gripped his hand. “We met six months ago and I can honestly say that I never thought she’d ever want to be with a guy like me.”
“Yeol…” I whispered. I didn’t know he even felt that way.
“Yeah, love is a strong word, which is why I tell her I love her daily. You both clearly love your daughter, and only want the best for her, but there is still a side to her that she’s been keeping from you all. A side that is fearless and brave.” He turned to me and smiled slightly. “I can see it in her eyes. Even right now.”
I smiled back at him and looked at my parents for their reaction. My dad slowly leaned in toward the table and stared at the two of us.
“I know everything I need to know about my daughter. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak to her alone. Now.” He stood up and walked toward his study. I excused myself from the table and followed behind him with my mother a few steps away, leaving my brother and Chanyeol alone at the table.
“Have you completely lost your senses, Y/n? Do you really think this boy is going to stick around?” My dad’s scowl had me feeling smaller by the second. I couldn’t even look him in the eye. “Everything you’ve worked for, to end up with someone like that…” He crossed his arms and a tear trickled down my cheek. “Tell me honestly, what are you doing with him? Is this just a phase?”
“No.” A burst of confidence shot through me and I lifted my head, looking my dad straight in the eye. “You may think I’m crazy, but I love him. and he loves me. You and mom have always told me to find someone who treats me well and I have. I’ve found a passion for music and when I’m with him I feel better. I don’t feel pressure with him or that I’m always one step behind where I need to be.”
“Music? Since when have you had a passion for music?” My mom asked me.
“Since I took a gap year.”
“Oh, for god’s sake! That gap year was for you to intern at your uncle’s real estate firm and take control of your career.”
“I don’t want to be a real estate agent! I changed my major this past semester.”
“To what?!” My dad yelled.
“Music. I want to be a lyricist.” The second I ended my sentence they both groaned in frustration.
My dad took a deep sigh and looked at me without any expression. “And who’s going to pay for that?”
I recoiled at his words in shock. “What do you mean?”
“I mean. I’m paying for you to go to college for real estate. Period.” He said.
“You’re cutting me off?” I started to feel light-headed and stumbled back. “How am I going to finish college if you aren’t paying?”
My dad shrugged and said, “It looks like you have some thinking to do.”
I looked at my mom for some sympathy, but she didn’t say a word. It felt like my whole world was crashing around me and I was falling into a dark pit. I turned away from both of them and stormed back into the dining room.
“We’re leaving,” I said to Chanyeol.
“Woah. What happened?” My brother asked.
“I was honest. That’s what happened.” I shot back.
Chanyeol and I left the house and he drove me home. The tears started to flow down my face and I didn’t try to fight it. How could this be happening? Parents are supposed to love and support you no matter what, not tear you away from your dreams.
Chanyeol pulled up to my apartment building and walked me in. We both laid on my bed and he just held me until the tears stopped. He combed through my hair to soothe me and kissed my temple a few times.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. I promise.”
“How? My dad just threatened to pull my college fund and most likely tell my uncle which will make me lose my internship and then this apartment is gone too.” I tried to talk through my sobs, but it was no use. “What am I supposed to do? Maybe I should just give in.”
“Or,” Chanyeol thought to himself for a second and an idea popped into his head. “Run away with me.”
I looked up at him in confusion and he continued. “You know how I told you that my manager wants us to start playing bigger venues right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, she set up some venues outside of the city, like, far outside. We have a few offers for tour dates now that our popularity is growing. Come with me.” He offered.
My mind started to race again and I pondered the possible solutions. Either give in and keep my full ride to college and apartment, but lose Chanyeol. Or I can go with him and get away from my parents for several months, and follow my dream of writing music.
What do I choose? Love or Money?
InstaKpop 