Not requested
genre: angst
Summary: They say that one knows their in love with another in the first 24 hours of meeting them. Well, that holds true when that loved one walks out the door, but would you let them back in if you had the chance?
A/n: This one made me cry, Y’all! I am so emo for this song!
The sky looks pissed
The wind talks back
My bones are shifting in my skin
And you my love are gone
Hoseok was like the radiant sun on a cold, dark day, and now that we broke up, my whole world felt like an endless storm.When I felt a bit blue, he would be right there to listen to me and console me. But what do I do now?
My room feels wrong
The bed won’t fit
I cannot seem to operate
And you my love are gone
“This thing didn’t look so heavy on the website, jagi.” Hoseok straightened out our new mattress and I plopped down on my side.
“Come on, Hobi~ Hop in!” I patted the space next to me and he jumped onto the bed, back first.
I cuddled into his side, just like I do at night and he kissed my forehead. We relaxed for a brief moment and Hoseok looked around at the empty spot on the bed.
“I still think it’s a little too big. With the way we sleep, we could have just bought a twin bed.”
I gave him a playful shove and he laughed. “We’re adults, babe. Big beds are better.” I said.
I didn’t know it then, but I’d regret those words after spending a night shivering and lying awake for hours. I got up and checked the thermostat, but it hasn’t changed in weeks. I tried to go back to bed, but it was pointless. I couldn’t even sleep without him here to keep me warm.
I looked over at his spot, but I saw nothing and no one. It all became real. He was gone.
I’ll never say that I’ll never love
But I don’t say a lot of things
And you my love are gone
I sat on the couch, staring at the boxes filled with his things. Everything from his toothbrush, to the stuffed puppy he bought me on our third date.
He was so sweet when we first met. We would have date nights all the time and grab a pizza from the same place we went to on the first snow of winter, in remembrance of last year when we were snowed in and there was only one place that was open. He was attentive too. I would always joke about him having the memory of an elephant, but that memory started to fail him. He started to come home late and we both started to get annoyed at each other over basic things.
We used to talk for hours about our days, but recently, If I asked him how his day was, I’d just get a ‘Fine.’ and nothing else. I assumed we would get over our gloom, but that never happened.
Then, everything was flipped upside down. We got into a huge fight over the dishes, but it wasn’t just that. We haven’t been communicating properly for months and now it’s all coming up at once. All the canceled dates and empty promises were brought up, making us go back and forth for over an hour before Hoseok said the words that shocked the system.
“That’s enough! I’m leaving.” Everything stopped as we stood there in defeat. I tried to speak, but the lump in my throat blocked any noise. He walked straight past me and grabbed his wallet and keys. I jumped when the door slammed shut and a rush of leftover anger burst forth. I stomped to the door and locked it, sliding the chain over the crack.
I hit the wall and cried out in frustration. I leaned against the door and lowered to my knees. “What have I done?”
So glide away on soapy heels
And promise not to promise anymore
And if you come around again
Then I will take the chain from off the door
wiped the tears from my face as I put the framed picture he gave me for our anniversary on top of one of the boxes.
This didn’t feel right. I shouldn’t be packing his things so he can disappear. We were supposed to be together forever. I just wanted to see him. I want to laugh with him, and hold him, and kiss him. We both owed each an apology for what we said, but I’m not sure if that will ever happen with the way we left things.
I turned when I heard a knock at the door and looked through the peephole. I gasped when I saw who it was. “Hobi,” I whispered. I backed up and took the chain off the door and opened it.
“Hey.” He said. I moved aside so he could come in and he caught sight of the boxes filled with his belongings. “You must have been busy after… Everything.”
“I hardly slept anyway so…”
I wanted to leap into his arms and tell him I’ll always love him no matter what, but seeing him looking as miserable as I am only made me want to cry some more. He was the one who made me feel better, not worse.
“Where did you go?” I asked.
“I stayed over at Namjoon’s place.” He said. He scratched the back of his head and smiled to himself. “He- uh- told me to get over here and make amends.” His hands reached out to me and he intertwined our fingers. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’ve been so caught up in these past few months and I’ve been putting our relationship last and you deserve better than that. And I completely understand if you want me to leave. I just need you to know that I love you, Jagi.” He slowly started to let go of my hands and he picked up a box.
“Wait.” I grabbed his arm and he stopped. “Hobi, of course, I don’t want you to go. It’s my fault. I should have just come out and said something. I’ve been bothered for months and didn’t say anything because I thought things would just magically get back to normal.” He put the box down while I spoke and faced me. “I can’t love someone else the way I love you.” My voice cracked while I spoke and I felt myself starting to cry again.
Hoseok took a step closer and held my face in his hands. He stopped a tear from falling down my face and wiped it away. He looked at me with a small smile and brushed my cheek with his thumb.
“Can I kiss you?” He said, letting a tear slip down his own face.
“Please.”
He pulled me in, crashing our lips together and it all came back. The reason I knew things would get back to normal, the reason I couldn’t let him go, and the reason I forgave him now. I was completely in love with him. I can feel it in his kiss. Even after the worst fight in our history as a couple, he made my knees weak and my heart soars with a single kiss. As long as we have this spark, I’ll always let him back into my life.
THE END
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