jaebum angst – InstaKpop

genre: ANGSTY AF, sad

Summary: Falling in love with JB is easy. He treats you right, stays by your side, and trusts you no matter what. But when his strict parents don’t approve of you and even try to find him someone “better”, your trust in him gets the ultimate test.

I laid out on my bed, waiting for JB to meet me at my apartment until I heard the jingling of keys on the other side of the door. And there he was. His smile lit up my entire studio. I gave him a weak smile back and he hurried to my side.

“My day just got better. Come here~” He pulled me into his strong arms and kissed my cheek. I felt so down, I couldn’t even try to act happy. “Hmm? What’s wrong, Jagi?”

“Do you still love me?” I asked. He recoiled at my words, unsure how to process what I just said.

“Of course, I love you. I always have and I always will.” He said. “Can I have a proper kiss now?” He leaned in, but I just can’t. I turned my head and got off my bed.

“Ever since the day we became official, your parents have had it out for me. I know you keep saying they’ll come around, but I just don’t see that happening. I can see it in their eyes when they look at me. Like ‘Our son can do so much better than a girl like you’.”

“No. I can’t. No one in this world can do better than the person they’re in love with.”

“I don’t know JB,” I said, bringing my head down. He got up, off of my bed and lifted my chin to look at him. “Tell you what. Let’s go out tonight. Escape from all this. Just you and me.” He suggested. I thought to my self for a moment and nodded. His smile widened and he kissed my lips as a goodbye. I gave in and kissed him back. “I’ll pick you up later.” I nodded at him and he left.

There was a part of me that just wanted really escape the situation and run away with him. But he would never do that. Not with his parents the way they are. With my luck, they’d probably have me arrested for kidnapping. I know they don’t approve of me. And honestly, I can’t stand them either.

-Later-

I tried to get the finishing touches on my makeup when I got a call from JB. “Are you here already?” I asked

“No, baby I’m so sorry. Something came up and I have to cancel.”

“Oh. Umm… Okay. Is everything okay? Do you need me for anything?”

“No. I’m okay. We can try for tomorrow night. I’ve gotta go, but I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too.” As soon as I hung up I felt abandoned. I already got dressed up so I might as well just go out with a couple friends. I called them up and they immediately agreed.

We went out to a few stores before they closed just to look around and walked around the city. We stopped at one of our favorite late-night cafes to just blow off steam and talk about whatever.

“This is a much better way to spend a Saturday night. Thank you, girls, for coming out with me.” I said They both gave me a quick hug and one of my friends looked around out the window.

“Oh my god! It’s Jaebum…” My eyes widened and I turned to see what she meant. There he was. Across the street at a restaurant with some other girl. My heart started to pound so hard, I could feel it in my throat.

“Y/n. You need to go over there. Just try and hear him out.” My friend said, insisting on being my voice of reason. But I’m done being reasonable. I got up and stormed across the street with my friends right behind me. When I walked through the door the hostess greeted me.

“Hi! Table for three?”

“No, actually I need to speak to him,” I said pointing at JB. He must have heard me and looked over his shoulder. His face went white as if he’d seen a ghost. Or at least a pissed off girlfriend. He stood up and walked to me, not wanting to cause a scene.

“Can we talk outside?” He asked. I walked out the door without any reply and he hurried behind me.

“You have one minute,” I said while crossing my arms.

“My mom set me up.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Just listen. She said if I go out with this girl then she’ll stop trying to get in the way of us and my dad agreed. I figured if I went out with her I could just suffer through one dinner and we can be together in peace.” He reached out for my hand and I pulled away.

“No. No, JB. You agreed to date this girl while you are still in a relatoinship. You knew what you were doing, which is why I assume she doesn’t know about us. Right?” JB shook his head in shame and I took a step back.

“That’s what I thought. And you know what. If your parents told you to go out with one last girl before they let you be with me, then they were at the end of their rope. Had you said no, they probably would have just stopped prying anyway. But you gave in. You gave up on us.”

“No, I didn’t, Y/n! I love you.” He said trying to hold my head again. I felt the tears of frustration build up in my eyes. “I need to go,” I said in a hushed tone.

I walked back to where my friends were and they took me home. The three of us were silent through the entire car ride. They both knew I didn’t want to talk. I just let my mind wander. I had to make a change; A major change if I really want to be happy. My friends dropped me off and I hurried to my little studio apartment. The place where things never went wrong. And then It hit me.

I’m not unhappy or stressed when I’m in my own element. I need to find that. I need to get away from the parental drama and just find a place where I can find myself and then find love later. My phone buzzed and I saw JB’s contact name light up the screen. I ignored the call and saw that it was one of many. I put my phone on the charger and started packing. If I can’t run away with JB, then I’ll run away alone.

Not even three minutes later I heard a knock at my door. I didn’t answer because I knew it was him. I heard the jingling of keys and remembered he had my spare. The door opened and He froze when he saw me.

“Y/n, I-”

“Don’t. Just, please… Don’t. I have tried for too long to get you to love me properly, but it just won’t happen. And tonight was just the last straw. You don’t even realize that this whole situation has broken me. I don’t know how to love you anymore because you won’t love me back.”

“I do love you. My parents just can’t understand that.”

“Exactly. And that is why I need a clean break.” I said before stuffing more of my things into storage boxes.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving. We’re done and you are the only reason I’ve stayed in this godforsaken place. Plus the timing is perfect. My lease ends at the end of the week and my boss already offered me a transfer to another location.” I replied.

“…Y/n You can’t.”

“Look, JB. You are an amazing guy. I have had some of the best times of my life with you and I’ll never forget that, but right now, we can’t happen if you parents keep controlling your love life.” A tear slowly slid down my face and JB walked toward me, raising his hand to my cheek, catching the tear with his thumb.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. All this time my parents told me I deserve better, but that’s never going to be true. Because you deserve better than me. You need someone who can give you everything I can’t.” He reached out for my hand and I felt a piece of metal in my palm. I looked down to see my spare key and sighed.

JB leaned in and kissed my forehead. I couldn’t hold it back anymore and I let out a soft sob. “I hope you find your happiness, Y/n.” He whispered against my forehead. I nodded and he let go of my face and hand. I watched him walk out of my life and close the door. But I can’t fret for too long. Because the only way to get through this is to just get through it.

I turned to the window and looked out onto the city I’m about to leave behind. I know this is the right thing to do. I have to take this opportunity now or I never will.

The next day I called my landlord and told him I won’t be renewing my lease and I took up my boss’s offer to transfer. By the end of the week, I finished packing and found a new place to live. It was all happening.

The timing wasn’t right for JB and I. But now I can finally live my life without being compressed by someone else’s opinion. Now I can just be me.

THE END